I am the president of the “…and another thing.” Well, maybe not the president; my sister and my friend Trixie can and another thing you death, but I am at least the Ambassador to Canada of “…and another thing.” For reasons unfathomable even to myself, I am basically unable to get out a complete thought, opinion or statement in just one sentence. Or one sitting. I will say something like, “I am going to Whole Foods. I need to get stuff for dinner. I’m considering spaghetti. But I always forget if you are supposed to boil the water first and then add the noodles, or the other way around. You’d think I’d know by now. And another thing – I always make too much spaghetti, and then I have to eat it for days. Why is it that no matter how much you crave spaghetti, you’re pretty much over it after you’ve had a bowl full? And another thing I’m like that with: tacos. They’re really good and all, but once I’ve had my fill, I am done with the taco! But you know what I’m not like that with? Those deep-fried, kind of gross, faux-cheddar cheese stuffed jalapenos that come frozen and are served in crappy dives throughout the South. Man, I love those things! I could eat a billion of them! And another thing I could eat forever: blueberries! One time, I ate so many blue berries in one sitting that…”
You get the idea. And that was just when I’m talking to myself. Fortunately, as I think I have made abundantly clear, I don’t really need anyone else to uphold his/her end of the conversation in order to get me to open up. Worse still, I often forget what I’ve already said- there’s just so much of it!- and so, maybe minutes, maybe days later, I will repeat myself. Or I’ll remember the conversation, but will feel compelled to revisit it and add just one more thing.
I am trying to choose my words wisely and say less, with the hopes that what I choose to say will be more meaningful and significant, as opposed to the many, many things I utter that are trivial, uninteresting or trite. But I doubt that’s going to happen.
And another thing that I am trying to cut down on is all that is whiny, high pitched or mumbled. Probably won’t be too successful with that one either. You may or may not recall what happened to me when I tried to stop complaining back in Aught Nine. If you wish to review, look through the post labels on the right side of the blog and click on the ones labelled complaints or complaining. I another thinged three times before I got that one out of my system.
Anyway, the reason I’m writing about this is because I just wrote a long post about 10/10/2010, and it turns out I’m not done. I have another thing. Or two.
“Angry Ventriloquist” by Edie Brickell. Copyrighted, you dirty image thief.
THINGS PEOPLE SAY
These are other things that have come through my email, again used without permission:
“BTW, I love the word SEGUE. It’s the ultimate F-U to sound it out.” -K.E.
“You are not on Facebook.” -Scott
“You could pick a totally silly fictitious name to get on FB just to spy on everyone and not tell anyone your fake name.” -LSD
TO Scott, FROM me: Duh! Thanks for the update! Did you think I just forgot to sign up for the most massive, cult like, stalkerish, Big-Brother-would-be-proud social media network into which my generation has ever willingly mass-enrolled?
TO LSD, FROM me: Or, I could just call everyone and say something like, “Hey, what’s up?” Since I actually know all the people I care about, it’s a pretty good system…
And another thing – I saw Catfish recently. I liked it. It made me think about identity, and all the people that are wrapped inside of a single being. And another thing it made me think about: how Facebook sucks!
“One day [at the post office] there was this really skanky neighborhood girl in line in front of me. She was leaning against the government-issued clock on the wall, trying to be sexy and flirting with the young guys behind the counter. As she leaned on the clock, the wire screen protector over the clock came unhinged and loudly crashed to the floor. The startled post office guys warned her that she’d better quickly pick it up. She sheepishly replied, “I cain’t…I ain’t got no panties on.” After I told that story at [my job] the phrase echoed…as the all-purpose excuse to avoid getting out of work. I should say an all-purpose excuse, as there were many, including the very popular ‘I’m too high’.” -L
My dad sent me this. He’s a bit of a religious scholar.
Also, another thing: My friend Jonob – not his real name, but funnier this way- sent me these outstanding Tell It In Ten additions:
On a Doomed Relationship:
Christ, I’m fucking bored. I need to get some strange.
On the Cusp of Change:
Autumn has come so fast. I barely smelled summer’s sweat.
Shall we have Tell it In Ten Again? OK! We will! Writer’s Challenge #5 is to sum up thoughts about the following three topics or themes:
The First Time
If you know me, email your submissions. If you don’t know me, post in the comment box and then I’ll delete them and publish them officially at a later date. Whoever you are, be sure to let me know how you would like to be credited. Come on people! Don’t leave me hangin’! Get them creative juices gushin’! I shouldn’t have to be the only one writing this blog, right?
I’d like to get started on it right this second, but I cain’t – I ain’t got no panties on.
One other thing…
Here are three stellar songs about psycho killers but that are not actually the song that is called “Psycho Killer”:
WARNING: These are about psycho killers! They are creepy and disturbing! Watch at your own peril!
“Tyler” by The Toadies
“Stan” by Eminem (NOTE- This one is a little lame because it’s all censored up, but still)
“Westfall” by Okkervil River (There are many live versions, but this way you can really hear the lyrics)
Two other things…
Can anyone tell me why I can no longer post these blogs in a colored font?
So, check these videos out: I especially like “The Door”, but they are all good. I can’t embed them because I can’t figure out how to, but the website’s cool and you can peruse it at your leisure now. Edie’s one of those people who looks around and really notices things. Then, once they are in her head, she feels them, and the feelings mix with thoughts, and the thoughts gel into ideas, and, after they’ve baked awhile, the ideas rise up like rich deserts, creative quiches that dance on the tip of your tongue and fill you with whatever they are made of: joy, wonder, amusement, astonishment, sorrow or hope. I guess that’s what artists do, right? I really admire those who feel the need to create, and I appreciate the ways the outcomes of this passion to express make me feel. After all, in the end, it’s all about me and how I feel, right? You betcha, it is! At least on this blog…all me, all the time! Perfect!*
Anyway, so this blog is about movies.
Here is a movie I am looking forward to:
The man who is shown at the beginning of the movie, Geoffrey Canada, is a hero of mine. I think he’s so fantastic; he sees everything all widescreen, and he looks for all the ways to say ‘can’ in situations that scream ‘can’t’.
For more information about the Harlem Children’s Zone, go to hcz.org
Something else I look forward to is any opportunity to namedrop, and upcoming films afford me just that: My friend Kari has recently worked on two movies that are coming up in 2011, Puncture and Mighty Fine. I don’t know if the flicks are going to be any good, but I guarantee the costumes will be perfect! Yay, Kari, who is my friend and who knows me!
(By the way, you know all that stuff I said about Edie Brickell that sounded like I knew her well enough to talk about her? It’s cuz I do! Yup! Another one of my celebrity friends! Oh, how cool I am, and all my famous friends will tell you that just the same!)
This is a movie I think about a lot. I saw it a long time ago, and it has stayed with me. It’s hard to watch; it’s about the Columbine shootings, and it’s…odd, to say the least, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it…
Man, I LOVE embedding! It’s like magic!
I guess it’s become apparent that I’m not so into the comedies. Or anything even remotely feel-good or happy. While this is not exactly true – I loved Spinal Tap and Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and I’m pretty sure I’ve at least chuckled at something in the 21st century- mostly I like a flick that disturbs me or makes me sad. Perhaps this accounts for whenever I choose the movie on a first date, there is never a second date. I do have a sense of humor; it’s just that it’s not a good one.
Another movie that is coming out soon that I want to see is Howl, which is based on the obscenity trial of Allen Ginsburg. Fun, huh?! I read that poem; I have even listened to Ginsburg reading it, and now, voila! Here, through the miracle of embedding, you can, too!
Beautiful rhythms, staccato and lyric, amazing imagery, and fantastic juxtaposition, but then again, what the hell is he talking about, right? Anyway, the parts that I did understand made an impression on me, as did a poem he wrote for his mother, Kaddish. So, I think Gimsburg himself, the time that he lived and flourished, The Beat Generation, and all the political activism and expression that was him and then, are interesting. I have a soft spot for the Sixties. And, as if that’s not enough, get a load of the cast in this flick! First of all, there’s Jon Hamm. OOH, how I love me some Hamm! But he’s not even the lead! The star is James Franco, one of my TV friends from the fantastic Freaks and Geeks! What a great show! He plays Ginsburg. Mary Louise Parker is in it, but not as the stupid bitch she plays in Weeds. Maybe she’ll be more like the lovable lesbian she played in Fried Green Tomatoes, which, I gotta admit, I liked a lot. Jeff Daniels, one of the most lovable, stand-up fellas in Hollywood is in it. I like him, and I even liked that part in Dumb and Dumber where he licked the icy pole. I’ve done that. Really, who hasn’t?David Strathairn adds gravity and legitimacy, and Treat Williams – remember him from Hair? I do so love a musical, especially one that features a transsexual, not that Hair was one of those, but just saying – rounds the whole thing out as an unexpected, but ever so pleasant bonus. Here’s that trailer:
Ach. Embedding has exhausted me. What I really wanted to say in this post is that I love the movies. I love the sticky floors and the “Down in front!” and the hushed anticipation as the film crackles to life. I get excited at the previews and want to see all of them when they come out. I love being lost in time, in a story, in the dark, in a suspension of reality that is so sharp, clear and present that it makes you laugh out loud or cry unashamedly. I love holding hands in flickering light. I enjoy being led or balking, being patient, or uncontrollably leaping ahead. My grandfather took my mother to the movies and my mother still takes me, and each time we go, I feel like we’ve shared something special and important, even if we don’t like the film. I love being alone with a room full of strangers, listening to their breath, smiling at their laughter. I love shifting in my seat, being uncomfortable, being still. I love feeling pure emotion, even if it is manipulated.
One day we won’t have movies as we know them. Maybe people will only want to watch short snippetts by themselves on their phones, tweeting what they are seeing as the moving screen reflects in their scanning eyes, able only to pay attention for a few minutes at a time, bursts of information exploding, and then fading like firecrackers on a holiday with a forgotten meaning. Already kids don’t watch the late show on tv like I did, black and white Hitchcocks showing them of another generations fears, to be dreamed about later when the picture is obscured by heavy lids, or Manchurian Candidates to baffle and thrill preadolescent minds that latch on to whatever they find vaguely dirty or forbidding. Those movies made me think and shaped my sense of glamor and decorum, of pacing and suspense, of language and eras. I’ll be sad when I can’t go to the movies anymore. I’ll miss them like a lost friend.
Fortunately, I’m free Saturday night. Anybody up for a flick?
Jeff Daniels was also in Pleasantville, which featured this John Lennon song, as performed by Fiona Apple. I love the original, and I love the cover. The first time I heard it, I listened to it over and over, back to back to back.
P.S. Thank you, Edie. I tip my hat to you!
P.P.S. Thank you, Kari. I’m looking forward to hanging out with you!