What do they drink in heaven? That’s right; ADINA! This delectable, morally correct, holy-water -and -coffee concoction comes to you from the divine partnering of beverage Buddhas from Sobe and Odwalla. You’re probably curious about the truly unique and melodic name they gave their products; I know I was! According to literature from Adina Holistics, the company name is derived “…from the word “adina”, which loosely translates to ‘life in its holistic and spiritual dimension.” The press release didn’t mention from which language this word comes, but why quibble, right? I just thought Adina was beautiful, like a poem or an aria, but so deep, so fraught with meaning, so…holistic? Who knew? Adina sounds fascinating, right?
They also leave it up to me, the consumer, to figure out what makes the stuff so spiritual and righteous, though they do say it combines powerful antioxidants with it’s caffeine, and that it “…blends just the right ingredients.” The right ingredients? Those are my favorite ones! Antioxidants keep you young, and caffeine keeps you awake, so this is the perfect drink for time-fighting truckers! Hallelujah! As if the name and the blend and the pure goodness of the elixir wasn’t enough, under the cap of every product is an “herbalism” (how clever!) so you can think while you drink, like “hear no evil, see no evil, drink no evil.” Words to live by if I’ve ever heard them!
Finally, just when you’re hugging yourself with barely restrained glee, you notice the monkey. Adorable! Who doesn’t love monkeys?! John Craven, Founder of BevNet describes it as “…an irreverent monkey character…that’s fun and on point with what the mainstream but “trying to be healthy’ consumer is looking for.” Not only do monkeys always make me feel mainstream and healthy, but that’s just me in a nutshell! I say we all support ADINA! Let’s buy cases of the shit! I’ll make it easy for you … just write a big ol’ fat check -stock up now, save later!- and make it payable to ADINA. I’ll take care of all the rest! Yeah, you just fill in the amount, sign your John Hancock, and make it all payable to ADINA. That’s A-D-I-N-A, ADINA. Damn, I just love how that rolls off the tongue! Do it y’all! It’s spirtitual! With a name like ADINA, you know it’s got to be pure-D good and good for ya!
Category Archives: Uncategorized
1,001
Woohoo! I just went to view my own blog – sometimes I like to sneak up on myself- and, according to my handy-dandy counter, I became the 1,001st satisfied customer- well, since I installed the official Statcounter counter – at this glorious site! Woohooo, I say! This means that I am officially a bad-ass. I am the Ali of blogs. I’m number one, you’re number two, and I’m gonna beat the whoopee outta you!
Under the Sea for E&A, Part 2
UNDER THE SEA
Grasses swayed. Corals reefed. Bright, unexpected colors emerged and then blended together, swirling and changing. There were hills and valleys, an endless landscape of enchanted beauty. Finn and I were so impressed that we couldn’t speak, until finally he sighed, “Awesome,” and for the first time, I thought I understood what that word really meant.
Slowly our eyes adjusted to this strange, new world. As we became able to focus, and grew more familiar, we began to see all kinds of marine life, camouflaged, and hiding in plain sight! Finn threw back his head, which is to say he did a backflip, as he has no real body to speak of, and took off after a catfish. I hopped on a friendly seahorse and followed. Oh the fantastic sights we saw!
We saw a fish who said that if we followed him and did whatever said, he would hang out with us forever. I thought he was a sucker, and so we moved on.We saw cheerleader fish with pompoms on their noses…
Albino amphibians playing leapfrog…
…and cavorting crawfish, creeping and crawling.
Would fish of the future have to mutate and evolve in strange, scary ways?Or perhaps, will fish have to find smaller, new places to live?Finn doesn’t believe any of that will ever happen. I’m going to agree with him. After all, how many talking dogfish heads do you know? He is as wise as he is strange. Still, I’ll never forget this journey. My memories will always make me laugh and wonder at the beauty and diversity of nature. Finn and I are going to take care of our earth and figure out ways to make sure that it is safe and protected. Stay tuned for our next adventure!
Say-ruh Hay-ruh
This guy is a shit head.
Monday morning, bell rings. Only half way through my coffee. Put on a happy face.
UNFAIRIZONA
Poetic Addendum
I hardly ever understand the poetry in the New Yorker. I like the articles, even though some of them have way too many words. I love the fiction – I even listen to a podcast of the stories read by other authors on my Ipod when I ride my bike. Pretty dorky, huh? Some of the pictures are great, and the cartoons are cool, but the poetry always leaves me feeling like it is over my head. Most of the time, I just don’t get it. Being a glutton for punishment, I read every single verse, sometimes two or three times, before I sniff and pronounce it poorly written, and mumble something about how I don’t have time to sit around reading a bunch of meaningless, self-indulgent drivel. My motto is: “If I don’t understand it, it’s wicked retarded.”
Also, as a special, additional bonus, I thought that I would include one of my mom’s poems about the juicy Rainier cherries her father grew in his garden. It is from a series she has called “The Fruit Poems”, and I reprint it here with her permission, as I respect that sort of thing. With my mom, anyway.
Yellow cherries
of my childhood
with a hint of carmine
fleshy and gay
eaten right off the tree
steadfastly
A caterpillar filled with glee
I took my pleasure thoroughly
made earrings with twinned fruit
day after day from morning to noon
No matter when Spring comes
trailing snows
late in the rainy season
the ripening of cherries
their savoring
remains
a durable rendezvous
– Liliane Richman
Boing!
I keep meaning to get back to my tale of woe about the BSISD, and indeed, I will, as my ability to bitch and moan has no bounds, but right now my thoughts are consumed with other things: I have Spring Fever, when a young girl’s fancy turns to…well, I don’t really remember what I fancied as a young girl, on account of it’s been kind of awhile, but right now I am thinking about how my garden grows.
My sister and brother-in-law have an amazing garden, with all kinds of vegetables and fruit trees, from the exotic to the humble. My nephew, who I’ll call Eli in this blog, has a plot in it where he grows carrots and nasturtium and a cactus he calls a “tush plant”. Ed built raised beds and planted an apricot tree this year. Their harvest is my gain; my sister will turn all of their crops into gourmet meals we’ll eat on Friday nights, with wine and toasts and magic shows and banjo sing-alongs.
And Now For Something Completely Different…
From the “Truth is Stranger” Department…
One of the problems in fiction writing is that of credibility. Up to a certain point, a reader will willingly suspend reason and cheerfully allow himself to be manipulated by the author (I would actually pay extra for a little manipulation from an author! I like those intellectual types! ) After this point, however, if the story is simply too implausible or outrageous, trust between writer and reader is broken, and the reader resents the writer for wasting his time and being deceptive, or worse still, incompetent.
BIRTHDAY GIFT
NOTE: This was actually written on March 5th, 2010, but I just now got around to posting it. Who cares, right? I like accuracy. Is that so wrong? A little background: I am an English teacher. For the past decade or so, I have been teaching Advanced Placement courses in high school English. Last year, my principal told me that I would be teaching a college prep course called AVID. It’s a fine course, and it serves a great need, but my heart is not in it. Before I was assigned the position, my principal told me that if I was still not committed by the end of the year, I could go back to teaching English. In the meantime, he has filled positions in the department, and I saw that he was making sure that there would not be a place for me. The writing has been on the wall for a long time, but it is a very hard story to read.