If I get killed by a dead bird plummeting from the Arkansas heavens in the dead of night, suspect fowl play.
P.S. They say it is fireworks that caused the birds to suddenly take flight in the dead of night. I wonder when birds learned to expect the 4th of July. Can someone say “government-chupacabra-area 51-like-hell-they-walked-on-the-moon-it-wasn’t-Oswald-alien-Hussein-Obama-there-is-no-global-warming-conspiracy time?”
i think it's kind of fishy that you didn't mention the recent piscatorial calamity…