Click here to see this image if you have old eyes and it’s all too tiny as is:
Words and pictures by Grant Snider
Conversation between teachers in BSISD on eve of possible snow day:
Veteran Teacher: Say, there! What’s in that enormous rolling suitcase you’re dragging?
New Teacher: (huffing and puffing) Grading. Since we may have a snow day tomorrow, I thought I’d try to catch up on some of this at home…
VT: Oh, right. Have I told you about my grading system?
NT: I don’t think so! I’m always interested in “best practices”, though! Will you share it with me?
VT: Sure! What I do is, I get all my papers together and divide them by class and period, being careful to vary which one is on top…
NT: Clever! I like this already! That way I can look at each class with fresh eyes!
VT: Right! Then I open the trunk and set the papers in the back half, right corner of the trunk…
NT: So they will be less likely to shift out of order! Practical! It’s so great to have a mentor teacher!
VT: Indeed! Then I leave the trunk open and drive to happy hour. Any of the papers that have ideas in them that are weighty enough to keep them from flying out into the universe get 100 points!
NT: Oh…wow! Neat! I’ll try that method after I put all the new vocabulary up on the word wall and make some foldables to teach the students about the Age of Reason…
NT thinking to self: Crazy old teachers! They should all be forced to retire! I can’t imagine thinking number grades aren’t the end-all measure of a student’s worth, or that it is even remotely possible that teachers or administrators can just “make grades up”! Meaningless grades…impossible!