Almost every weekend, I want a big egg breakfast. I like breakfast tacos, migas, Huevos Rancheros, scrambled eggs, an omelet, soft boiled eggs or, if I wake up feeling posh, Eggs Benedict or Florentine. Because this is what I want, this is what I have. The problem is, eggs make me sick. They upset my stomach and make me feel like puking all day. All eggs are devilish, to me, and it’s been this way for years. Still, I eat them. This makes me hate myself. I wish it made me hate eggs. I think I only want them more, because every Friday night, I forbid myself to eat eggs on Saturday morning, and every Saturday morning, I ask myself who the hell I think I am, forbidding me to do ANYTHING, let alone telling me what to eat?
I just wish I didn’t want them. I need an eggsorcism.